Strangers in the night
by Kuri333
Summary: Is it too bad not to know who's the person in front of you?
1. Wond'ring in the night

"My identification? Honestly?"

"You want your pint, I need to see it," the barman said with a bored voice.

The woman muttered something under her breath and Remus had the impression it was not really flattering towards the barman's mother.

It wasn't strong enough to take his attention off his own half full glass of beer, though. How many had it been? He was not that sure anymore, but some sort of imprecise dizziness was telling him that he was on the right track of geeting good and drunk.

At his side, the woman cursed again, loudly this time. Apparently, in her attempt to look for her documents, she had toppled her purse over and an assortment of objects and debris was now at her feet.

Mechanically, Remus got off his stool and bent over to help her.

"'S O.K., I got it," she mumbled, but Remus ignored her.

Trying not to pay too much attention he passed her two pencil cases, several books and at least three wallets. She kept on saying something under her breath, but he could not figure out if she was still cursing or of it was a very peculiar way of thanking him for his help.

Remus spotted it first, it was very dirty and he would have mistaken it for a coaster if there had not been a picture on it.

He took it and handed it to her.

"I think you're looking for this, er..." he tried to make out the name on the scarce light of the pub, "Nymph-"

She snatched the document with a growl before he could read the rest.

"Here," she pushed it under the barman's nose. "Happy?"

"Not particularly," he said, serving a pint of the beer closest to him.

"Hey, that's not the one I want," the woman said, but the barman ignored her and went off to the opposite side of the bar to attend other clients.

With a loud buff, the woman sat heavily on the stool next to Remus and, despite what she had just said, drained her beer in one; involuntarily, Remus raised an eyebrow in admiration, but hastily focused on his own beer again. He did not want this woman to think he had been looking at her. Meanwhile, she had cleaned her mouth with the sleeve of her black pullover and was now calling the barman.

"This time make an effort and pour me a Guiness, would you?"

The barman grunted and she grunted back.

Remus wondered why was he paying attention at all, and decided to follow the woman's example and drain his own beer.

"One for me as well, please," he asked the barman before he could go away again.

He obliged and with a sour expression and two loud _plonks_ that sent part of the contents on the table, he placed two glasses in front of Remus and the woman.

"Nice to see people getting out of their way to be friendly, isn't it?" she mumbled acidly, taking another generous amount of liquid.

"Bad day?" Remus asked, suddenly curious about this woman demeanour.

"Peachy," she said, her voice heavy with sarcasm, "never been better. You?"

"Bad day, bad life," he said, his eyes fixed on his pint.

"Yeah, tell me about it."

"Really?" Remus suddenly felt a very inexplicably urge to make fun of her a little; he was curious about what sort of reaction he could produce. "Do you want me to tell you?"

"No!" she blurted out, her eyes wide with horror at what she indisputably though would be an infinite rant on the miseries of a middle-aged man. "Not really. I don't wanna know about any tosser's life. I've got enough with mine."

"So you're a tosser."

She looked at him frowning and for an instant he thought she would actually hit him.

And then, quite unexpectedly, she laughed. It was a very nice, rich sound, somewhat at odds with the dark pub they were in. For the first time since she had arrived, Remus really looked at her.

At once he understood why the barman had asked her to prove she was of age. She looked very young, not only because of her general behaviour, but also because of her choice of clothing, and the purple hair did not help very much to the general impression.

"I guess I had it coming," she said, finally calming down. She turned her stool in Remus' direction and stretched a hand, "Tonks."

"So it was a fake identification, then?" he said, taking it. "I thought that name was very difficult to believe in the first place."

This time she did not laughed, but glared at him.

"It's not fake and the name's just Tonks."

Remus gave her hand a shake and doubted a split of a second before speaking.

"Then mine's just Remus."

She did not react to the name and he was glad. That was the whole point of going to Muggle pubs instead of the Leaky Cauldron: the chances of getting recognised were close to zero and he preferred it that way.

For a moment none of them talked; Remus wished he had something else to say, something that would trigger that laughter again, but he found himself at a loss. Maybe he had already had too much to drink.

"And what is it that you do?" she interrupted his thoughts, after another generous amount of beer.

"Let's not talk about it," he said, following her example, but smiling nonetheless, trying to clarify that he still wanted to talk to her.

"Could I have a guess?"

"You can try, but I doubt you'd get even close."

She screwed up her eyes and looked at him over the rim of her now almost empty glass.

"You're the scholarly type," she said.

"I don't know about that."

"It wasn't a question," she added, beaconing the barman to pour her another beer. "You look like it. Professor somewhere?"

"Used to be," Remus said, trying to put the bitterness out of his voice and wondering what was it exactly that made him look 'scholarly'.

"Aha," she said cheerfully and Remus could not tell if she was talking about his former job or just mumbling appreciatively at the freshly served beer in front of her.

"What about you?" he asked, after looking at her drink a little more and wondering distractedly how much more could she take at such a fast pace.

"What about me what?"

"What do you do?"

"I'm..." she studied him for a long moment, and then her head gave the tiniest of shakes. "It's complicated."

"You don't want to tell me either," Remus tried to think about Muggle jobs and which one could suit her. "Let me guess then."

"Fair enough."

He took in her dark clothes, the bright purple hair and the short fingernails. It was not an unpleasant sigh at all.

"Musician?"

She shook her head earnestly this time. "Only the shower-singing sort."

He chuckled, wondering if his sudden good humour had something to do with the amount of beer he had taken, her presence or both.

"Something to do with... fashion?"

This time she laughed properly again.

"You're not even close, but I like your options." She looked at her glass thoughtfully for a minute. "I might even consider switch to one of them, given the situation..." She seemed to be talking more to herself.

"And why is it that you had a rough day?"

"Couldn't we talk about something else?" she asked and some of the cheeriness in her tone was gone.

"All right," Remus agreed, though his curiosity was piqued.

"Let's just pretend I fancied getting pissed for once, no particular reason."

"If you say so."

She nodded.

"And, my I add what a wonderful job you're doing so far?" he added.

There was a faint gesture of indignation on her eyes, but the next second she had smiled wryly.

"You can talk," she said, "but for the looks of it, I'd say you're aiming for the same. Only, I bet you have a reason."

"I do, as a matter of fact."

"But you're not telling."

"I'm not. So, just like you said, let's pretend I fancied to get pissed as well. Without a particular reason."

She smiled again and drunk some more beer, a little calmer this time. Remus tried to imagine what sort of thing could have given her a bad day? Problems with a boyfriend perhaps? A bad job, according to her reluctance to talk about it?

"D'you come here often?" her question interrupted his thoughts.

"It's the first time," he said earnestly.

"For me too," she said, and after a moment she added, "I just wanted to be alone for a spell."

"I guess that applies to me too, to some extent."

Nobody spoke for a moment.

"So here we are," she said finally, "and Heaven knows why we are talking to each other if we actually wanted to be alone and not talk to anybody."

"What can I say?" Remus drained his beer. "I think I'd rather talk to you about nothing than sit on my own and sulk... if you don't mind."

Tonks looked for a moment as if she was trying to make up her mind about something, and then she called the barman again.

"Four Tequila shots," she asked him, and then she turned back to Remus, "I don't mind and this one's on me."

"You don't have to-"

"Come on," Tonks said with a dismissive hand gesture, "if we're really aiming to get drunk, it's gonna take forever to do so with beer alone."

"I haven't have Tequila in a while," he protested half-heartedly.

"That's something we have to work on right away."

It came as a blow: Remus suddenly realised she was flirting with him. An unknown, attractive woman, was actually chatting him up, wasn't she? How long had it been since the last time a woman had shown any interest in him on a similar occasion? Or was it only his already confused mind imagining things? And what would happen if she was indeed aiming for something else _with_ him?

The barman put the shots on the table and she handed one to Remus.

"What are we toasting to?" Remus asked, deciding that he did not have to make a decision just then about whatever might happen in his near future.

"Bad days?" she offered.

"To bad days, then."

Their glasses clinked and he drained the liquid. It felt as if his throat was on fire, but it was not an entirely unpleasant thing.

Tonks was smiling at him, her eyes brighter, probably due to the amount of alcohol already on her system.

"So," she said, leaning forward and adopting a conspiratorial tone. "Besides of what you do, is there something else about you you wouldn't want me to know?"

Remus laughed, was there indeed!

"A great many deal of things, as a matter of fact."

"Good, me too" she beamed. "Tell me one."

"Why should I?" he said, taking the third small glass of Tequila and giving her the last one. "You won't tell me a thing about you either."

She looked at her glass thoughtfully.

"All right, I'll tell you one thing, one personal thing, and then you tell me one of yours."

"Deal," he said, clinking his glass with hers and draining his Tequila, idly wondering why on earth he was doing all this.

The obvious answer, that he was flirting back, was one he was not too keen to consider.

"I use mismatched socks," she prompted, and he looked at her, puzzled.

She laughed merrily again, at what she had just said or at his expression, Remus could not tell.

"You know," she finally explained, "how socks are supposed to belong to the same pair, the same colour? Well, I never do that!"

And to prove her point she heaved a little the legs of his black trousers. Remus saw a very sturdy pair of Dr. Martens and up her legs he finally understood: one of her socks was bright orange with green polka dots and the other one was stripped in pink and yellow.

"See?" she asked unnecessarily. "Now it's your turn."

Remus raised an eyebrow.

"I think you've cheated. That hardly counts as a personal thing."

"What? Oh no, I haven't. Talking about underwear is very personal."

He just had to laugh, everything seemed surreal, amazingly so. He looked at her, trying to find something else to say. Every sensible idea he might have had seemed to have fled his mind. Of course there were a lot of facts that kept on popping up, but he very much doubted it would be a good idea to talk about the wand hidden in his pocket – something that might sound terribly wrong as something personal to say – or the fact that he could get very hairy once a month.

"I read a lot," he blurted out before something else came.

She looked at him, incredulously.

"Is that the best you can do? That is lame, very lame."

"It's a personal thing," he said trying to put some indignation in his words and suspecting that he was failing.

"It's not, it's written all over you," she said. "You'll have to do better than that."

Remus rolled his eyes and sighed deeply, at a loss of what to say.

"All right then, something personal..."

"Something personal," she nodded encouragingly.

"Underwear related?" he raised an eyebrow at her.

"Only if you want to."

Remus tried to win some time drinking the last of his beer.

"The last time I got this much to drink must have been more than ten years ago," he finally said.

She blinked a couple of times.

"Really?"

"Really."

"Whoa, that's a long time ago..." she looked thoughtful for a moment and Remus wondered if she was doing some sort of math on her head. "Why were you drinking back then?"

"The loss of good friends," he answered mechanically.

"And why are you drinking now?"

Remus sighed. He could tell her some of it, really. Who would she tell, how much would this Muggle girl understand from it?

"I got some very very bad news," he said, thinking about Sirius, showing up at his door as the black dog some hours ago, confirming that that they had been dreading for so long had finally happened, and his immediate departure murmuring something that had sounded a lot like "Sod all that lying low bollocks".

"I'm sorry to hear it," Tonks said, placing a hand on his forearm. "On both accounts."

"And I know I mustn't be doing this," he pointed at the empty glasses in front of them. "I should've stayed at home, at the ready, in case something... somebody... in case I'm needed."

"Would that had helped the situation?" she asked, and he could see in her eyes she seemed to be genuinely concerned.

"No, I don't think it would," he smiled wryly. "The situation is already rotten as it is, with or without my help."

"But just in case, do they know how to find you?"

"I guess they do," Remus shrugged. "And I'm certain they won't need me just yet."

"There's no need for me to worry, then, that somebody might burst in and take you away any time now, is it?"

She was smiling again and Remus recognised the attempt of lighting up the atmosphere. He thanked it.

"No for the time being, no."

Her smile grew wider.

"Shall I get two extra shots then?"

"I'd rather have another beer."

"Beer it is," she said, ordering one for her too.

Nobody spoke until the glasses were filled again in front of them.

"My turn," Tonks said, after taking a small swig.

"Your turn," Remus mirrored her actions.

"I think you're very attractive," she said not missing a heartbeat.

Remus stood frozen for a long moment before bursting into laughter. She joined in, and he could not help but notice that her hand was still on his arm.

"So now we're telling lies, are we?" he managed to say, almost sure he had blushed.

"Don't sell yourself too short," she said. "It's no lie."

"Well, if we're still telling personal stuff, that's something I haven't heard in a very long while."

"You're surrounded by the wrong sort of people then."

"I might be."

Now, it was clear for him how this could continue. They could stay there and share beers for a while longer, or he could just ask her to go somewhere else. His flat, for a drink, maybe? He would have to transfigure a couple of things here and there, the titles of some of his books, for instance, but otherwise it would be completely safe… unless somebody actually decided to get there on Dumbledore's orders. They could go somewhere else…

But would she agree? Maybe it all was just his imagination...

"Pardon?" he realised she had been saying something but he had not been paying attention.

"I just said it's your turn."

"Right... only... I don't know what else to say."

"Come off it, you said there were loads of things you didn't want me to know. Just say one of them."

"Well," he tried to sound solemn, but he could fee his smile giving the game away. "There are reasons why I don't want you to know."

"Spoilsport," she said, taking her hand off his arm and leaving a not very pleasant cold sensation behind.

"Oh, all right," suddenly his mind was set on what he had to do next. Who cared about the future, grim as it seemed, and who cared about what would happen afterwards? He was there and she was there, and having this one opportunity to actually enjoy something good could not be terribly bad, could it? Who knew when would such a chance present again, if ever? "I'm going to tell you something terribly personal," he finally said, leaning towards her.

"All right then," she was beaming.

"I am having a great time with you, Tonks-" he started.

"Really?"

"Indeed," he said, and feeling he should accompany his words with some action, he placed his hand on hers, "but that's not what I wanted to say. I mean, it is obvious I'm having a good time, isn't it? And it's supposed to be something not very obvious."

"Unlike the fact that you like to read."

"Unlike that, yes."

"What is it, then?"

Remus sighed deeply, suddenly nervous.

"I'm thinking of which would be the best way to kiss you."

For a moment she just blinked several times and he feared he had crossed the line and she would just stand up and go away. She did not, though, and Remus almost sighed in relief when she smiled widely.

"That's very personal," she said, and her voice was just a whisper.

"I know."

"And have you reached a conclusion… you know, about what would be the best way?"

Her grin was mischievous and her eyes so bright, it took him a great deal of effort not to just act upon his instincts.

"Well, I was first wondering if I have to be afraid of some gigantic bloke storming in and demanding why was I kissing his girlfriend."

Tonks chuckled.

"There hasn't been such a bloke, gigantic or not, for some time."

"I'm glad to hear it," he said, getting even closer.

"And what about Mrs. Remus? Should I be worried about her?" Tonks asked suddenly.

"Oh well, since she's an entirely imaginary character I wouldn't say you need to be terribly worried."

"Good," she whispered, and a second later, her lips were on his.

* * *

**AN: A new take on my favourite couple. I got the idea yesterday when I heard Sinatra's song on passing and it just wrote itself. There is something appealing in the idea of not knowing who is the person you're talking to, isn't it?**


	2. Before the night was through

She was rushing into things. She was most definitely rushing into this, whatever this might lead to. And truth to be told, you did not need to be a genius to know that.

There she was, in a Muggle pub, kissing a total stranger and thoroughly enjoying the experience. And of course there had to be that inner voice too, the one that sounded a lot like her mother's but she had chosen a while ago to ignore it, she had had a terrible day and this… she would have been out of her rocket if she was not to take advantage of such good opportunity, especially if it was presenting itself just like that, like some good looking stranger man with whom she could have a good time.

How good a time exactly?

She did not know.

Oh well, of course she could imagine what this could lead to, but she was not entirely sure if she would like things to go to that particular path… right?

And yet, he was a very good kisser, she had to give him that. He seemed to know exactly when to press his lips to hers and when to draw back a little, leaving her wanting more and it all was just delicious.

The kiss ended and Tonks, lost in her own thoughts, almost protested aloud. He was looking at her and suddenly she felt very self-conscious under his gaze. It was stupid, really, she had been playing the part of somebody confident enough, and this was not the moment to ruin it.

"Your turn, I think," he said, grabbing his beer and taking a sip, his eyes still fixed on hers.

"My…?"

She had no idea what he was talking about.

"I just told you something very personal, I think it's you turn. Unless…"

"I've never done this before," she blurted out, and a second later she regretted it.

"You've… what exactly?"

"Kissing a stranger. In a pub. Just like that," she could feel the heat raising on her cheeks and tried her best to hide it.

He chuckled softly and was she imagining things under the dim light of the pub or had he blushed as well?

"Ah," Remus said. "Well, if it's any consolation, it's been long since the last time I've done something like this."

Tonks was not sure of what to say to that.

"You're still not going to tell me what made your day so bad," he spoke again.

"Are you really interested?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

He looked at her thoughtfully for a long moment.

"You look like the cheery type, not somebody who would try to drown her sorrows in a bar surrounded by strangers. It keeps me wondering, it must have been something tremendous…. But although I'm curious, I'm partially teasing you; you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

It wasn't a matter of wanting or not. How would this Muggle man react if she would start talking about working at a place called the Ministry of Magic? Or about some dark wizard that everybody thought was gone for good seemed to be gaining strength? Maybe wanting to take over, even? There was no way in the world she could tell him any of this. She would probably be left in no time, or maybe even escorted to see a Muggle Healer.

"It's… let's say something wrong is happening at work, something quite serious, but… but my boss wouldn't do a thing about it."

Remus was still looking at her intently, with a hint of sympathy sketch in the corners of his eyes.

"And this bad thing affects you directly."

Tonks nodded.

"I really don't want to talk about it," she murmured looking at her beer, torn between anger and disappointment and, yeah, there was no point on trying to hide it of herself, she was afraid too. So was it so terribly wrong to try to forego all of that for a bit longer, then?

"All right," he said. "I'm sorry though, that you're having a bad time."

"I'm not having a bad time any more " she said, placing her hand on his arm again. What had made her do that in the first place, she did not know, but he did not seem to take it badly at all.

He beamed at her and she wondered if she would dare.

Why not? Was it really so terribly bad? She could take him to her apartment. She would have to be extra careful to pretend she was using her key instead of her wand, and most definitely she would have to transfigure some of the parchments that were surely littering her living room. She tried to remember what she had learned in Muggle Studies... no, she was almost sure they would not use parchment….

"Let's go somewhere else," she said, before self-consciousness or a large dose of honesty would take over.

"All right," he said, and for a moment she thought that he had been hoping, or maybe even expecting her to say it. Tonks could not say if it was a pleasant thought or not, she did not like being predictable, but his refusing would have been way too embarrassing.

He fumbled for a moment with a handful of notes and she added some of her own. She was not sure if they had overdone it with the tip she had firstly intended not to give, but she had some trouble recognising Muggle money and she did not want to draw attention to that fact.

It was too late to worry about that anyway, his hand posed on the small of her back and something warm and pleasant spread through her body. As he was pushing her gently towards the exit, she decided this was indeed looking like a very good idea.

She was barely on the street when he turned her around; his lips were on hers, they were kissing again and she did not mind at all. It was much easier than having to think what to tell him that would not break half of the Ministry statutes. Only, this time it was not only a kiss like the one they had shared in the bar, but something much more deep, and she knew her hands on his neck and his on her hips had a lot to do with that.

It was growing intense, and if she had still had a hint of a doubt about what could happen next, now it was gone. She knew what was going to happen and she finally decided that she did not mind at all.

"D'you know where…?" he asked hoarsely, leaving her mouth and starting kissing her neck. He was making so difficult for her to focus.

"My flat…" she said, wandering how on earth they would go now that she could not Apparate both of them nearby. She could not even tell exactly in which part of the city they were, since after leaving the Ministry she had wandered aimlessly for a while before deciding to enter to that particular pub.

"Should I get a… a taxi?" Remus asked, almost without taking his lips off her.

"I think so," she whispered, relieved at the idea and, at the same time, hoping that the amount of Muggle money she still had would be enough.

Later she could not say how on earth they had managed to get into her flat. She just remembered giving the driver her address and, a second later, Remus was kissing her again, while the vehicle moved through the streets. She had not rode may Muggle vehicles in her life, and never before like this, with the caresses of a man mixing with the movement of the vehicle and sending unusual and very pleasing sensations to her body.

Way too soon they had arrived and Tonks took advantage of his paying for the ride to open the door with her wand and hide it hastily. He would probably think that she was too eager, but she did not care. As a matter of fact, she was eager, but there were a handful of things she should take care of first, before letting him in.

"Would you… give me a second, please? It might be too messy…"

It didn't sound convincing, but he nodded. Not wanting him to think she was trying to get rid of him, Tonks stood on tiptoes and reached up to kiss him; his hand was on her back again and, what was supposed to be a quick gesture became something much profound. She had to stay focused though, and a second later she pulled back.

"Don't go anywhere," she whispered.

"I won't," he said, smiling somewhat sheepishly, and she entered the flat to take in her surroundings.

It was difficult to say what was "normal" and what wasn't, she was so used at most of the things she was sure Muggles would consider to be strange, to say the least. She hastily shrunk the rolls of parchment she had brought home from work a couple of days ago and stuffed them under the couch. There were a some old cloaks hanging next to the door and she took them to her room.

After pushing a handful of random objects under her bed and waving her wand another couple of times around, transfiguring a several things that might look just too funny, she sighed deeply.

This last part she did not liked much, but it was necessary. Taking a last look around, she opened the topmost drawer of her bureau and carefully placed her wand at the bottom.

It was a very nasty feeling, a lot like being exposed, naked. But wasn't it the point of all this?

Almost sprinting she went to the front door again. He was still there, his jacket in his hand.

"You took ages," he said softly, entering and closing the door behind his back.

"I'm sorry. It was just too…"

She did not want to tell him any more lies, so she kissed him again and smiled against his lips when he responded enthusiastically.

This was it, Tonks thought with both excitement and a little worry, she had met somebody in a bar and, actually knowing nothing about him, she had taken him to her flat.

Maybe this would turn out to be a very bad idea, and her wand being too far from her reach was not particularly comforting but there was something about this man, about the careful way in which he had placed his jacket on her couch and was not caressing her thighs, that made her feel somewhat at ease an made her almost forget all about that constant vigilance she had learned during her training.

"D'you want something to drink?"

He chuckled softly.

"I don't think so, I've had one too many."

She smiled.

"I think me too…"

"Are you having second thoughts?" he asked, suddenly looking concerned.

She could not be sure but, in that moment, she felt as if he would respect whatever answer she would give. Still, the way his eyes were fixed on hers was enough to make Tonks decide she was not having second thoughts; she would absolutely make the best out of this situation. As her only answer, with a gentle pull, she directed him towards her bedroom.

* * *

She sighed softly; at some point, apparently, both of them had fallen asleep. She did not want to move and wake him up, but she was uncomfortable and she needed to shift her position before losing all sensitivity in her left leg.

Careful and slowly, she tried to turn around. Maybe she should just wake him up and tell him to shift a bit to his...

"Do you want me to leave?" his hoarse voice almost made her startle.

"No," she said, being completely honest. "I just want you to move a little."

He laughed softly.

"Good," he said skidding to one side, "somehow I fear that my legs won't be able to hold my weight any time soon."

It was her turn to chuckle.

"You've got some pretty interesting moves going on," she said, trying to sound far cheekier than how she truly felt.

"Funny, I was about to say just that."

It was getting difficult to find a comfortable position with his body so near hers and the sheets entangled on both their legs.

He was lying on his back, looking at her many attempts to settle; slowly, he heaved his right arm.

"Maybe if you…"

Tonks understood the gesture but how strange it was to cuddle against somebody she had just met? Well, coming to think of it, having sex with said man had been much stranger but she had not minded some moments ago. Carefully, she rested her head on his shoulder. It was a pleasant surprise to feel her body easily adjusting with his.

"Better?" he asked, straightening up the sheets over them.

"Mhm…"

She felt his hand slowly stroking her hip. How was it possible that she was this aware about him touching her, about both their naked bodies being gently pressed against one another, when no long ago they had been sharing much more than ragged breathing?

Still, it was a very nice feeling on her skin and she was starting to drift off to sleep again.

Much later, Tonks opened her eyes with a start. At her side, Remus was still sound asleep. She could not tell what time it was, she had transfigured her alarm clock into a vase the night before and her wand was still well hidden in her drawer to do something about it.

There was plenty of light outside. She was late, she was very late.

"Oh bollocks, bollocks!" she freed from his arm and jumped out of bed.

"Good morning?" she heard Remus mumbling almost still asleep.

"Yeah, that!" she moved around frantically looking for something that might give her the time.

"What's happening?" he said, raising his head.

"I'm so very late!" Tonks looked into her night stand drawer, she just remembered she had a regular wristwatch there somewhere among the many useless things.

He sat up on the bed at once.

"What time is it?"

There it was, the foul thing.

"Seven thirty." Tonks called, suddenly much too aware that he was looking at her completely naked body. She grabbed a handful of sheets and took it all with her, clumsily covering her entire body. She knew it was pointless. If not now, he had had plenty of opportunities to look at her during the night, and yet she was feeling uncomfortable under his gaze. "And I have an early shift at the-" she clasped a hand to her mouth. She had almost said way too much.

Her mind was still confused and sleepy, and there was this fantastic feeling produced by what they had done mere hours ago… and there was also reality and she needed to shower and to get going or she would have to face Scrimgeour's rage.

"I have to go too," he was saying, standing up and looking around for his clothes.

Tonks could not help but give him a covert look. She had not imagined it, it was a very attractive body indeed, although heavily scarred at some points. She wondered what he did for a living that would produce such wounds.

"I think this is yours," without being able to meet his eyes, she handled him a shirt that somehow had ended up tangled with her bra.

"Right," he said, taking it while trying to put his pants on in haste.

"Listen, you don't have to leave if you're not…"

"But I have to, I really do," he said, buttoning up the shirt at top speed. For a split second she looked at his dishevelled hair and smile at the thought that it had been her who had put it like that.

"I'm sorry I have to go."

"So I am," he said, and this time he smiled broadly. "And I have to say, it's been a truly amazing night."

She smiled back at him.

"It has been amazing, yes. Highly unusual too," she felt she had to add, suddenly worried about what he might think of her.

He chuckled and approached her.

"You are great, No-First-Name Tonks."

Gently he cupped her face and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"And you're pretty good yourself, Remus No-Last-Name."

"And now," he said, bending over to put on his shoes, "I'll leave you to get ready for… whatever it is you do. And I do hope you have a good day this time."

She could feel her smile broadening. It was a pity, really, having to let him go like this.

"You too," she said.

He gave her a funny grin, almost as if he knew that a good day was not possible, but there was no time to dwell on that.

"It's been a real pleasure," he said, walking towards the front door.

She followed him, almost tripping with the hem of the sheets. Tonks wanted to say something else, to ask for… how was it that Muggles said it? His number? But she was not sure if she would know what to do if she had that to begin with. She did want to see him again, though, but maybe… maybe it was just like that the way things should be. Just something that had happened during one night with a stranger.

"We might cross paths again," he said, his hand on the door handle, and it was almost as if he was reading her thoughts and regretting them just the way she was.

"I'll look forward to it," she said.

"Good bye, then," he opened the door and was halfway out when he turned around. He seemed to have just made his mind about something. "Do you mind…?"

"Do I m-"

He kissed her again, drowning her words, but this time it was not gentle, it was the same type of urgent kiss they had shared the night before and the warmth of his lips exploring hers left her breathless.

She could not utter a word, and, a second later, he was out of her flat and out of her life.

* * *

**AN: Thanks a lot to Raywire, MimbTheHufflepuffGirl, SuperWriterToTheRescue and QueenCobraWing for the amazing reviews!**


	3. Something in your smile

Remus' hand was still on the door knob after closing it behind his back, and he was already regretting having to leave her. But what was there to do? He actually thought he had already done more than what he was supposed to, with that last kiss he had given her.

That last kiss they had shared, as a matter of fact. She had kissed him back, he was sure of it. Her lips had been as eager for the contact as his; she had even clutched the front of his shirt, hadn't she?

What difference would it make, anyway?

He started climbing down the stairs, slowly. For a moment he thought about buying his time a little and seeing her going out her apartment. And then what? Plan a would-be casual encounter? Bump into her and say that he just needed a cup of coffee and thus he had lingered about for a moment, fancy meeting you again? That was just pathetic.

Moreover, he had assured her he was in a hurry, which, truth to be told, was partially right. Sirius might be back home, or somebody else, and he could just get there to find that half of the renewed Order of the Phoenix had decided to use his flat as Headquarters, at a loss of a better place to meet for the time being. Thinking along that lines, he just had to thank his usually non-existent luck the fact that no Patronus had interrupted his endeavours last night.

All so urgent, so important, and yet so pointless when he remembered the soft texture of her lips on his, the smoothness of her skin, the ringing of her laughter, the way she had muttered his name between heavy breathing during the night.

"_Isn't this weird?" she had said right after carefully settling on the crook of his arm._

_What had made him want to do that, to embrace her and let her lie so impossibly close to him, he could not say, and yet, when he felt the warmth of her skin, her body fitting against his, he decided it had not been a bad idea at all._

"_Weird how?" he had asked, even though he could think about many ways of finding weirdness in the situation. Only, he did not want to be the one voicing them out loud._

_For a moment she did not say a thing, and Remus thought she might have fallen asleep._

"_I'm not quite sure how to say it," she finally said. "I don't know you at all, but to some extent, I think I do…"_

"_Well," he said, realising he had been stroking her hip for a while now. It was good that she had not shaken him off. "I guess you could say it's weird."_

"_Good weird," she prompted._

"_Undoubtedly."_

_She chuckled and a second later, he was joining in. He had the feeling of them being two school kids, laughing together after pulling out a prank on somebody, with that wonderful sense of complicity and mirth. And to make it even better, he had to add to that the amazing feeling of her body trembling against his._

On reaching the front door of the building, he had actually had to stop and take some deep breaths. The mere memory has trigger some funny reactions in his body. He needed to regain his composure, he needed to calm down, and recreate her in his mind was achieving the absolute opposite. And, since he had decided he would not meet her accidentally on purpose, he would have to go away.

He exited the house, and before searching for a suitable place to Dissaparate, he took one last look at the small red front door and at the topmost windows. She was there, gathering her things and getting ready to go to work. Remus wished he could see her, even as a silhouette, passing behind the curtains. It was a very silly idea, he decided, resuming his walk.

When he arrived to his flat he realised some of his suppositions had been right. Sirius was back, and with him somebody he had not seen in a while, Mundungus Fletcher. The first raised his eyebrows as a mute question but Remus was not going to answer it. How was he hide from Sirius what he had done during the night, he did not know, but he was absolutely sure he did not want to share with anybody what an amazing night it had been.

Trying his best to look calm, composed and even grave at the new development of the Ministry of Magic position on the return of Voldemort, Remus just went through the day, and through the one after that, talking to possible new and old members for the Order of the Phoenix and heading with Sirius to establish their new headquarters somewhere different than his own, shabby flat.

And even considering everything that there was to do and all the things he was actually doing, Remus could not take her off his thoughts. Her laughter seemed to have stuck somewhere, treacherously coming into his min from time to time, as if it was a reminder of the many things that had happened and of the many more that could have happened.

Of course he could go back and look for her. After all, he knew where she lived. And yet, after the emotion of the morning afterwards, he was not entirely sure she would take his visit with especial delight.

For her, he had been just a one night thing, no matter how much he hated the thought. Of course, it was arguable that she had been a one night thing for him too, but it must be that he did not do these things on a regular basis, and therefore the mere idea of her was proving to be quite impossible to forget. Not what was to be expected of a one night occurrence.

It was very doubtful, though, that she would welcome his coming back. For all that he knew he could even get there to find her with somebody else she had just met in some other pub. Strangely, that thought seemed to make his blood boil.

"_Is it true that you've never done this before?" he asked when their laughter calmed down a bit._

"_That's what I told you," she said._

"_Was it true?"_

_She shifted a little._

"_I haven't told you a lot, Remus, but I haven't lied to you."_

_He smiled at the ceiling. It was a heck of a good answer._

"_Why did you want to know?" she said after a while._

_He sighed._

"_Could I possibly tell you that you're amazing at this, without offending you?"_

_This time she chuckled again._

"_I won't be offended. Only it's a little difficult to believe."_

"_Well, I haven't lied to you either."_

"_Right…" she said slowly. "And you're not looking for me to compliment you back, either?"_

_This time it was his turn to laugh._

"_Compliments are great at this point, but I wasn't looking for one. I just wanted to state that you're great."_

"_Thanks," she said and after a long moment she added, "you're amazing too, by the way."_

"_Aha! I've got that compliment!" he said triumphantly._

"_I knew it," she said with mock grumpiness, "it was all about you."_

"_Oh, yes," he said, starting to kiss her earlobe and wondering if it would be possible to get away with that or if he could perhaps go even further. She giggled; it turned out he could._

It had been a week, a very long, tiresome week, full of grim notices and tasks and even a large talk with Dumbledore about why Sirius had to stop looking for Peter and had to start hiding, for the time being. That had been his least favourite part of the week, not that there had been much good parts of it to begin with.

The only decent, even bearable part were those few moments in which he had left his mind wander into that so very strange night, and remember what had happened…

"And why on Merlin's name are you smiling?" Sirius asked, taking him out of his reverie.

"I'm not," he prompted.

Even though he had decided not to, he had never stopped wanting to go to the pub again, to go to her house and knock on her door, even though he knew that finding her would mean nothing but trouble. Even if she would agree to talk to him again, and after that, even in the wildest scenario of her wanting to have another drink with him and maybe another one after that… All of that would be calling for trouble all right.

What would he do, just at the beginning of a war, having to hide his so very strange activities from a Muggle girl? How was he to conceal the fact that every few days he had to do guard duty? What if he was to get a Patronus in the middle of something this time? Not to mention that fury little monthly problem… It had been better that way, on all accounts, just one wonderful night that had not only been like a balm for his tired spirit, but that had filled him up with really amazing memories and even a little bit of hope for the future.

Now it was not the time to think about it. Not when he and Sirius were fighting his way through the Most Ancient and Filthy house of Black, trying to make it at least a little habitable for the Order of the Phoenix to establish in.

"And you still refuse to tell me," Sirius said as if they were continuing some conversation.

"To tell you what?" Remus knew exactly what this was about, but he was not eager to satisfy Sirius' curiosity.

"Where, oh where did you spend the night last Thursday?"

"I'm going to tell you exactly what I told you on Friday, when you asked it for the first time. Not even my mother had asked me that question when I was a teenager, why on earth do you think you're entitled to?"

He fired a vanishing spell to a dusty curtain and it started trembling. Sirius fired another spell and Remus finished it with a third one. Whatever was hiding in it was finally still.

"It's not about being entitled; it's about me dying of curiosity."

"Why?"

"Because it's you!" Sirius said triumphantly firing another spell into the next ser of curtains.

"And what does it have to do with anything?"

Sirius rolled his eyes and spoke with the voice anyone would use to convince an over excited toddler to go to bed.

"Because, being you, my guess would have been that you spent the night somewhere doing some sort of service for the always magnificent and now newly reformed Order. Tracking some scum like I did, or checking on a suspect or something of the sort."

"And what makes you think I didn't?"

Remus finished stunning the third set of curtains and levitated the lot into a large sack that started trembling as well. With a loud sigh, he fired a shower of spells at it until finally it stayed still.

"You would have told me if you had," Sirius said slowly. "So, the fact that you're not telling me is practically telling me what you've been up to!"

He had a point, Remus had to admit, but it did not make him especially eager to share what had happened either.

"So, what's her name, then?" Sirius continued with a wink that made Remus' interiors squirm. If he was to be honest, having Sirius back had been something good as well, even though there was a lot to get used to when considering this new version of the man who had been once one of his best mates. Some things, though, had not changed at all, as the question proved.

"What are you talking about?"

"Aha!" Sirius said in triumph, "so it is a female!"

"I haven't said anything of the sort," Remus tried to use his most dignified voice.

"Aha." Sirius repeated, with a raise of his eyebrows that, for a moment, made him look a lot like the schoolboy Remus remembered.

"Well," he said, vanishing the big bag with another wave of his want. "I'll leave you to your fantasies then, shall I? But I'd like you to consider that, besides tracking Death Eaters, there is a large deal of activities one could pursuit during the night and no, not all of them involve females, require of me to be of age or of you to fantasize about them."

As a reply, Sirius just laughed.

After a visit to a very strange Apothecary at Knockturn Alley to get antidotes and pesticides he would never had thought he would ever need, Remus was back at the entrance of number 12, Grimmauld Place. Just the sigh of the house, right on that forbidding looking square, was enough to sink anybody's spirits. He spared a moment to feel sorry about Sirius.

He could partially understand his curiosity on the light of his recent imprisonment, and he was certain that telling him more or less what had happened between him and that stranger in the bar would cheer him up all right. He did not want to, though. It had been something too wonderful and unusual, and somehow trying to put it all into words, and for Sirius of all people, would be more or less like taking away the magic of it all.

It was just his memory and he had to settle on being happy with that, since there was no other possibility for the situation to develop any further.

He entered the dusty house and silently crossed the hallway. Muffled voices from the kitchen told him that the Order meeting scheduled for that night had already started; he had not realised he was so late.

Trying to keep it as quiet as possible and not interrupt whatever Dumbledore was saying, he started climbing down the stairs.

Some sort of fate must be toying with him; there was not another possible explanation. And he had to stop on his tracks for a moment, not caring about his lateness. Because he had to double-check that he was actually seeing it. Seeing her.

The hair colour was different, tonight it was bubblegum pink, but other than that, it was her, sitting at the table of the most outlandish of places, one where he would have never guessed he would see her, and surrounded by one of the strangest assortment of wizards and witches. As if she was one herself…

Tonks was there all right and looking back at him with wide-opened eyes.

* * *

**AN: Loads of thanks to MimbTheHufflepuffGirl, QueenCobraWing, thepiperscuriosity, loveislouder94, roflshvuakomail and MsTonksLupin!**


	4. My heart told me

Somebody was climbing down the stairs to the kitchen, and, at her side, Sirius her newly re-acquainted cousin, murmured something about how strange it was for him to be late.

Tonks was just half listening, her mind too full of new information to register something else. Except that the newcomer had stopped midway and, slightly curious, she looked up to see who he was.

She could have sworn blood had frozen in her veins while her heart seemed to completely forget what it was supposed to do. She was dreaming, she just had to be!

This was probably one of those strange nightmares in which she was naked walking through Hogwarts' Quidditch pitch and everybody was staring at her. And if that was the case, it would not be the first time for the newcomer either; he had seen her naked all right!

And he had recognised her. He had distinctly pausing in his coming down and looked at her, eyes wide and the shadow of a crease forming between them.

He resumed his going down the stairs, much slower this time, his eyes fixed on her and the crease replaced by a very unreadable expression on his face.

"I'm sorry I'm late," he murmured, but his eyes did not leave hers.

"Not to worry, Remus," Dumbledore said, gesturing him to take a sit.

So it was him. Or this was history's greatest coincidence and there were two men looking exactly alike and sharing the same very uncommon name.

He had greeted the room at large and had taken the only empty chair at the end of the large kitchen table. From where Tonks was sitting, it was very difficult to surreptitiously look at him. He, on the other hand, had her right between his sit and the talking figure of Dumbledore.

Tonks was sure she would get permanent scars in her arm, she was pinching it so hard. This just had to be a dream, a nightmare, a hallucination. Maybe that woman, Molly Weasley, had put something strange on that lasagne she had just eaten and she was starting to see funny things.

The man she had shagged a week ago, for instance.

Because it was him, wasn't it?

She risked another glance at him, trying to look just as somebody generally curious about this new people she was going to work with. She regretted it at once.

His eyes were still fixed on hers, that very strange expression on place, only this time... was it her imagination or could she actually see some hint of a smile lingering in the corners of his mouth?

She remembered that mouth, oh she remembered it well in a great deal of ways she should not be thinking about during her first ever meeting of the Order of the Phoenix. And she should not think about his hands either, least of all caressing her body, or his lips murmuring…

Tonks shook her head with energy, she needed some sort of memory charm, she just had to erase it all from her memory and, if she was to be thorough, she would have to erase his memory as well.

"Is there something you'd want to add, Tonks?" Mad-Eye Moody, at her other side, asked looking slightly annoyed.

"No, sir, I'm sorry," she tried for her voice to sound calm and she was glad to realise it was, even though she had called Moody "sir", something she had stopped doing about a year ago.

Tonks fixed her eyes on Dumbledore, addressing all of them from the head of the table, but her thoughts were far away from the situation. Merlin, the bloke had been wizard all that time! And not just any random wizard at that but somebody that, somehow, managed to belong to the same circles she had just entered to.

Suddenly a couple of things of that night made sense. How he had not wanted to tell what did he did for a living, that whatever it was she was sure was Magic-related; or the way he'd just thrown some notes at the bar barely looking at them, did he had the same problems as she with Muggle money? Coming to think of it, that very careful way in which he hung his jacket on the chair could have been an attempt to leave _his_ own wand hidden in a safe place!

And now, apparently, there were about to work together. How many levels of bizarre there was on this predicament of hers?

Because there was one thing to have some casual encounter with a perfect stranger one night, somebody she would not see again... and something completely different to do so with… with a colleague. A superior even! How high was this man inside the Order's organisation? What would happen if she would have to take orders from him? What if he expected her to…? Well, surely he would not! Wouldn't he?

And why on the name of all wands had he failed to say something?

Well, that was stupid! What could he have possible say? She had not say she was a witch because what were the odds of finding a wizard on a Muggle pub? And he had thought exactly the same, probably.

And so they had gone to her flat and… no, she was not going to think about it, not ever again!

She had to focus on Dumbledore, on what was being said, on the honour that it was having been asked to join this group of superb witches and wizards… some of them with a tendency of going to bed with total strangers… but she had vowed she was not going to think about it.

A new though, a terrible one, made her stop listening to her former headmaster again.

What if he had told somebody? What if he had _bragged_ about it? What if he had said her name? It was a somewhat common last name in the Muggle world but back amongst wizards… not at all.

And even if he had not, what would he think of her right now? And that terrible though, one she had tried to suppress from her mind, formed clearly now. What if he would thought she would be ready for him to shag whenever he would please? What if he thought she was _that_ sort of woman? What if he thought he had the power to… to make her?

She felt like groaning, like banging her head on the hard wooden table. Maybe she should just tell Moody she was not really up to the task. No, of course she was not going to say it, not ever. Having been chosen to join the Order was one of the best things that had ever happened to her and she would not turn it down, no matter what.

She would have to… she would have to talk to this Remus, eventually, and say… she had not the faintest idea what she should tell him. I'm sorry I slept with you? It was all part of an Auror routine, don't think for a second that I meant all that? Sex? What sex? I don't even remember you! Please don't think this would happen again? I'll hex the daylights out of you if you so much as utter a word of what we did?

And she had to think of something good to do, really fast, because it was obvious that the meeting had come to a close. People were standing up and Dumbledore was actually saying his goodbyes.

But she had no idea what she should do, so there she stayed, petrified on her chair, her heart beating so violently she was sure everybody could hear it.

Remus had stood up and was exchanging some words with Moody, who had been about to leave. Maybe he was telling him about that crazy protégée of his that would randomly go sleeping with unknown men she met in pubs, absolutely disregarding that one lesson of constant vigilance he was always going on about. Tonks felt like groaning out loud.

Sirius was carelessly drinking from a bottle of Butterbeer, looking around, oblivious to the turmoil in her head.

"So what do you think about this thing going on?" he asked and for a wild moment she felt the impulse of just interrogate him about that member that came in late but she thought better of it. She had just gotten acquainted with Sirius again and even though he was almost going out of his way to be friendly to her, she could not say how trustworthy he was. Maybe he already knew that she… that she what?

So she said the most neutral thing she could about the meeting but the words got caught mid-way. Remus No-Last-Name was approaching them and she desperately wished there was a spell she could perform to make the Earth open and swallow her whole.

Sirius was thrusting a bottle of Butterbeer into Remus' hand and saying something about somebody called Snivellus. Tonks thanked for the opportunity to surreptitiously look at the man. He seemed to be paying attention to what Sirius was saying, but he was looking at her as well, and she could not make up her mind on what sort of looks those were.

"… right?" Sirius was now addressing her and, for the life of Merlin, she had no idea what he was asking her. "By the way, Remus, this is my cousin Nymphadora Tonks."

Again, it was as if the blood in her veins had frozen solid and she even forgot to scold Sirius for using her first name.

"So, Nymphadora it is," Remus said, with some sort of mischievous light in his eyes. He extended a hand and she took it, standing up. Whatever was going to happen, she needed, at least, to be eye-levelled with the man.

"No, it's just Tonks," at least her voice came out even and calm, she though, absolutely at odds of the turmoil inside her.

"Well," he said, not letting go of her hand. "I'm afraid I'm not just Remus."

"You're not," she said arching an eyebrow.

"Remus Lupin," he said with a wry smile and now the name did ring a bell.

He finally let go of her hand and she realised she had not minded him shaking it for that long, but that was an entirely inappropriate thing to think.

"You're… you used to teach at Hogwarts, didn't you?" she said. She had suddenly remembered something, something not pleasant at all; the reason why his name was not unknown.

"Yes, as a matter of fact," he said looking at her squarely in her eyes.

She nodded, not sure of how should she continue.

"And if you're wondering how you should ask it," he seemed to be reading her thoughts, "yes, I'm a werewolf."

She bit her lip.

"I'm sorry to hear it." She had not only slept with an unknown wizard. She had slept with a werewolf. And that changed the situation, didn't it? But how?

Well, it was very bad the way it was, without that little detail to sum it up to all the awkwardness of the situation.

"No, I'm the one who's sorry," he said, now not looking amused at all.

"That's just bollocks, mate," Sirius said. She had forgotten all about him being next to them and she almost jumped at the sound of his voice. For his expression, though, she was almost sure Sirius did not really know the whole meaning of what they were talking about.

"There's a lot of people disturbed by the fact," Remus was answering Sirius, but he was still looking at her. He was actually asking her… what? To forgive him for being a werewolf? For having slept with her without telling her? And how would that have changed things at all?

"It's not like it is contagious, isn't it?" she voiced that last thought aloud. "At least not in regular situations."

"Regular situations," Remus repeated, and the hint of a smile was now back.

"Or not that regular, as a matter of fact," she added hastily. It was not making sense at all and yet would he understand what she was implying? She was not even sure she was understanding what there was about. The issue was not of him being a werewolf of not, it was much more basic than that: it was about him being there that night. And how to explain it all to him in a room full of people?

Fortunately, Molly was calling Sirius from the other side of the room and he left them.

Only, now she did not know what to say.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," he finally said.

"How on earth could you?" she snapped, suddenly annoyed at the situation. Of course it had not been his fault, but hers, and of course the consequences of that foolish, so very foolish night would not affect him, but her.

Remus looked at the ceiling and then back at her.

"That's a fair point. But I would've wanted to give you fair warning."

This time, she finally found something grimly amusing in the situation.

"Is that what's bothering you?" she said, with an incredulity in her voice, "the fact that I didn't know that you were a werewolf?"

"Isn't _that_ bothering _you_?"

She chuckled humourlessly.

"A lot of things are bothering me, but that's not one of them."

"Let's go outside," he said quietly.

She frowned at him, was he thinking that they would just catch up where they had left…?

"I just want to talk without risking half of the Order of the Phoenix to hear us," he added hastily.

"All right then." That was what she had wanted, wasn't it? An opportunity to talk to him and find out how this was going to affect her, to affect _them_ in the near future. "Let me get my things."

"I'll go ahead." He said, exiting the room barely saying goodbye to the small group of members still gathered inside.

Tonks breathed heavily.

She took her time grabbing her bag and saying goodbye to the Weasleys and Sirius. She needed to make something out of the muddle of thoughts and feelings inside her before facing him again; she needed to be sure of what she was about to say to him, it had to be something coherent and professional, something that could erase off his thoughts the image of some easy girl he had picked up in a pub... Only, nothing of the sort seemed to come.

Careful not to disturb anything on the dimly lit hall, she finally exited the house, making an effort for her expression to be as dignified as possible, given the situation.

He was outside, his hands deep in his pockets, facing the depressing square in front of the house. At the sound of the door, he spun around.

"You took ages," he said, looking at her from the lowest step. She could not help but remember that those were the exact words he had used that night, when she had asked him to wait outside her flat in order to transfigure some of the obviously magical things she had.

Had he chosen his words it on purpose or was it just a manner of speaking? She could not say, but suddenly she felt furious.

"Listen," Tonks said, taking a deep breath and climbing down the stairs to meet him. "I had no idea. I didn't even know that you were a wizard!"

She started to walk, hoping he would follow her. She was just too edgy to stay put.

"I know you didn't," he said, walking beside her, his hands in his pockets. "Neither did I know who you were. All that time I was convinced you were a Muggle! What happened that night is... it's something that just happened."

Tonks was barely listening him, her need for him to understand her being much bigger than her own curiosity.

"I don't want you to think I did it on purpose."

"I'm not."

"Because I didn't. I had no idea. And I wouldn't have done it if I knew that you were… that… that we would meet again and under these circumstances! I don't even know if I want to know what you and whoever you told about this must be thinking of me right now!"

He stopped in his tracks, looking at her with what was clearly outrage.

"I haven't told anybody! What sort of person do you think I am?"

"That's the whole catch of the situation, isn't it?" she stopped as well, her voice raising, "I don't know, do I?"

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, and Tonks had the distinct impression he was trying to count to ten.

"You're right," he said much calmer, "you don't know. But at least for now trust me when I tell you that I haven't told anybody. I wouldn't have."

"You wouldn't…"

"I don't kiss and tell, Tonks, or… everything else we did," he added with a hint of a smile.

Tonks felt heat rising to her cheeks but she quickly morphed it away.

"And, trust me, I'm not thinking or reading any further into what happened. Least of all planning to get advantage from it. I'm not, all right?"

"You're not?" she stopped to look at him; his gaze was so intense on hers it became almost unbearable; she started walking almost at once.

"No. I'm not," with two long strides, he was walking next to her again.

Could she believe him? When they had met, he had given her the impression of being a decent enough person, and yet, he had agreed on going to bed with her. What was he, then? What did that made of _her_?

"Well," she said, looking at the tips of her boots, embarrassment quickly replacing her anger. "For what's worth, I haven't told anybody either."

He did not say a thing and she wondered for how long this very strange dialogue would continue. Tonks was not sure if she wanted him to keep on walking at her side or not. He did it, nonetheless.

"Could we…," she cleared her throat, looking for the right words to say what was on her mind, "could we pretend… that nothing happened? That we just met tonight?" she could not meet his gaze so she kept on staring at her moving boots as if they were the most fascinating thing on Earth.

It took him the longest moment to reply and she could physically feel the tension inside her.

"I could do that," he finally said and she let go a breath she had not realised she had been holding.

"I'd appreciate it."

"All right."

For a long moment nobody spoke. Tonks looked at him out of the corner of her eye. Remus was looking at his own shoes and his expression was unreadable. She wondered if he was planning on accompanying her home. Or something else. Was she being too paranoid about all this? Should she, just in case, tell that she had forgotten something at work and get rid of him?

"Could I say something, though?" he finally spoke, stopping right under the light of a streetlamp.

"Sure," she said, stopping in front of him and trying to gather something from his expression. It was so strange, that day in the pub she had had the impression she could practically guess what was going on inside him. Now she had not the faintest idea.

Remus took a deep breath and Tonks had the impression he was stealing himself to say something that was not easy.

"Until an hour ago," he spoke with a hoarse, calm voice, "I didn't know if I was going to see you again and, you know what? That was not a very nice feeling."

She did not know what to say or if she was supposed to say anything at all, so she just stared at him, trying to see in his eyes whatever it was that his words were not saying.

"You don't have a reason to believe what I am going to say," he continued with a humourless chuckle, "but I'm going to risk my chances and say it anyway."

"Yes?" she felt, surprised, that she was suddenly curious. For a wild second she forgot the last hours, and the fact that they were a wizard and a witch, and Order members at that, and being with him was as easy as it had been before. He was just a bloke, and she was just a girl, and it was like talking to the stranger she had met in the pub again.

"What happened the other day," he continued, "was special for me. And I'm not waiting for anything from you, I don't even dare to hope. I only want you to know that."

Suddenly she felt like smiling at him, only she fought hard to control the impulse. What if this was a trick to get her into bed again?

And would that be so very terribly wrong? a very treacherous voice inside her head said.

Yes, another inner voice prompted, trying to be much stronger. Definitely wrong.

It's a pity, though.

"And," he continued, now smiling, "since I'm suddenly feeling a little bold, I am going to wish that you would say yes when I ask you if you would join me for a drink. Or a cup of coffee."

* * *

**AN: Loads of thanks to MsTonksLupin, MimbTheHufflepuffGirl, tt crews, SoiSoi, Hamlet-GL, roflshvuakomail, loveislouder94 and MAD4moony7!**

**Cheers!**


	5. Two lonely people

She had closed her eyes and Remus could have sworn he had seen the struggle inside her mind. It must have lasted less than two seconds, but it had seemed like an excruciatingly long time. Why had he felt so nervous? Why did he even care? The fact was, though, that he did care. A lot. Finally, after a deep breath, she had spoken.

"All right. Be at my flat, tomorrow, at 7 pm. We can get that coffee."

He could not help but feeling a tad rejected. True, she had said yes, but it was plain it had coasted her enormous effort to do so.

Coming to think of it from her point of view, the situation was indeed delicate and she had a point when she had said she had no way to know about his intentions because she did not really know him. But he could not help but wonder if her reluctance could not have less to do with the situation and a lot to do with her not liking him.

Perhaps, despite what she had said, she had been indeed disturbed by his being a werewolf. Who could blame her for that? Somehow, though, Remus had the impression this was not the reason. It was more possible that it had been a faulty impression of his and she had not enjoyed that night at all. And now, she was just being polite with him, or, even worse, too scared about losing her new job to turn him down fearing he would want to get even.

The thoughts had fought their way inside his head during the whole day, and now that he was standing in front of her door, the last idea seemed to have won the argument.

She had not enjoyed it the way he had. And now he was at the predicament of having to go to have coffee with a person that really did not want to be there at all. Possibly. Or perhaps she was just trying to get some distance from the image of an easy girl somebody would chat up in a pub…

Remus shook his head and crossed the street towards the red door of the house. Either way, he was there, and he would make whatever there was in his power to make the afternoon pleasant. Or bearable. Or just quick.

He climbed up the stairs and, before giving his brain any opportunity of regrets, he knocked on the door. At the other side, he could hear a thud and some mumbles that he suspected might be curses.

It was a very long minute before the door finally opened, but Remus had made up his mind. He would do what he had done on that night from days ago. Just stop thinking. Only, he suspected that would have been much easier had she agreed to go for a drink instead of a coffee.

"Wotcher," Tonks said, and he was relieved to see she was smiling. Her hair was deep blue today, and he wondered what sort of spell she would use to dye it so frequently.

"Hello."

They looked at each other for a moment until Tonks finally crossed the threshold and, with her back to him, tapped the door with her wand. Then she carefully put it on an inside pocket of her large black jacket.

"How did you…?" Remus started, suddenly remember something.

"Yes?"

He realised his mistake at once. She had asked him to forget it, and there he was, bringing up something from _that_ night.

"I was just wondering," he started slowly. It was too late now. "How did you open the door then, without me seeing the wand?"

She suddenly beamed at him and the gesture took him by surprise. He had not imagined it; she did have a beautiful smile.

"You were busy paying for the taxi."

He smiled as well.

"Right," he said, starting to climb down the stairs after her.

They reached the front door in silence and, for a wild second, Remus tried to figure out if it was a comfortable silence or an awkward one. Definitely not the right time for that sort of questioning.

"Do you know a place or should we…?" he started.

"There is a place 'round here," she prompted.

"Great," he said. She was already walking and he had to take a couple of long strides to catch up with her.

Again they were in silence and Remus decided that his not-thinking policy did not seem to be a very good idea after all. But even when he started making an effort, he could not come up with something worthy to say. Keep it like that and he would start talking about the weather in no time at all.

"Here we are," she said after a moment.

It was a nice café, with sturdy wooden tables and a bunch of people inside, reading or chatting over large pots of coffee.

"Do you come here often?" Not the cleverest thing to say, but at least it was something.

"Yeah," she said, making a beeline for the small table in the corner, "I used to come here a lot to study during my training. I can't focus properly at home."

"Your training…?" he asked, taking the sit she had pointed, opposite from her.

She gave him a crooked smile.

"I forgot you really know nowt about me."

"Very little, yes," he nodded slowly.

A woman approached them, carrying two menus.

"Two pots of coffee, please," Tonks said, placing the menus on the table. "Unless you want something different?" she addressed Remus.

"Coffee's fine."

"That's all, then."

The woman left and Tonks fidgeted with her inside pocket for a moment.

"Don't want to worry about being overheard," she said as an explanation, and Remus realised she had just casted some protective charm around them. He could not help but admire the swiftness of the movement. "So... you don't know a thing and you haven't been asking around to that Order people..." Tonks trailed off; the question was obvious.

"Not a word. I'd rather have you telling me yourself."

She blinked a couple of times but did not say a thing.

"So," he said with a smile. He just had to be friendly, but there was no need to overdoing it, "training?"

"Oh yeah, I'm an Auror."

For a moment Remus did not know what to say. Suddenly it was not only her entitled to feel vulnerable with the situation. He knew he could stand his ground in any average duel, and maybe he was even better than that, but an Auror...? He would just have to be extra careful not to give her reason to…

"You feel awkward about it," she stated.

"No I don't. I think it's great," he prompted, trying to believe in his own words. Well... it was great, of course, but not so much considering his current predicament.

"You do?"

And then he remembered. One of the things that had made that night so amazing had been the fact that, even given the circumstances, he had been honest when sharing his thoughts with her.

"Oh well, I am a little concerned."

She smiled; it had been a good move.

"About what?"

"My own integrity and the attachment of my limbs to my body if somehow I manage to piss you off again."

This time she chuckled, and Remus felt he could relax a little. The honest approach was working.

"Well, we do have some training on that," she said, looking earnest. "Removing of limbs 101, we take that on the first year."

"I thought as much."

The woman appeared with two steaming pots filled with coffee and they stood silent while she placed them on the table. She retired at once, softly massaging her left ear, and Remus could not help but smile and wonder what sort of spell had Tonks casted on the table.

"So, I'm guessing it was Fudge, wasn't it?" he continued, watching her adding some milk to her coffee. "The reason you had a bad day?" he added when she looked up at him with a puzzled expression.

"Yeah… yeah, he was, sort of..." she said, and Remus had the feeling she wanted to scan him with those big, dark eyes. "Why is it that you still want to know?"

He shrugged.

"I think I told you back then, you don't strike me as a person that would let life depress her easily."

Tonks took a sip from his coffee and Remus did the same.

"It is weird," she finally said, "because of all people, you're one of the few I can actually tell. What were the odds?"

He smiled at her. Honestly.

"Close to zero?"

"This close," she agreed, raising her hand and showing her index and thumb almost touching. "Well, yeah, it was Fudge. And some other stuck-up ministry workers, many of them working at the Auror's headquarters. Which means I get to see a lot of them."

She put her hands around the pot and Remus had the impression she was looking for some sort of comfort from the warmness of the china.

"So," she continued, "I was there. At Hogwarts. You know what happened, right?"

Remus nodded.

"The Diggory boy died and they found out the Alastor Moody that had been there all along was an impostor," he summarised.

"Right," she said with a hint of animation, despite of the graveness of the matter being discussed. "I was summoned right then. I'm sort of close to Mad-Eye, I am the last Auror he trained, so I guess for once somebody thought about what could be better for him when he would wake up, you know?"

Remus nodded, feeling a bit of admiration for the young witch in front of him. She was not only an Auror, but one that had been trained by Mad-Eye of all people...

"I wasn't alone, though. This bloke Dawlish came along too. A dimwit if there ever was one…" she suddenly blushed. "You don't happen to be friends with him, do you?"

His laughter was immediate, it was so endearing to see her suddenly realising she might have talked too much.

"He's my best mate, as a matter of fact," he could not resist the temptation.

"Oh bollocks, really?" she blushed, her eyes wide open. Remus thought it was adorable.

"No, not really," he decided not to keep the joke much further. Dawlish, indeed. "I know him, though, and I think I might share your opinion."

She looked both relieved and annoyed.

"I'll think about that detachment of limbs," she muttered, squinting her eyes.

"Couldn't resist."

"Try harder," she snapped, but he could see in her mouth she was about to burst with laughter. "Anyhoo, there we were and Moody had just woken up and was talking non-stop about You-know-who being back, and a lot of things both Dumbledore and the Potter boy had said. Well, you know…"

"Yeah."

"So," she took another sip of coffee and Remus did the same. He had almost forgotten the pot was still there. It was really fascinating to hear her side of an event he knew so much. "I was all for going after… anybody. Trying to track back where had that Portkey taken the kids, what did Potter knew, you know, the whole investigation."

"Only Fudge didn't want to," Remus said.

"That. Fudge hadn't talk to Mad-Eye, but he hear it all from Dawlish. The prat went straight to him with I don't know what version of the facts. And the morning after Fudge just gathered us all up, office by office, telling us that there was this sort of conspiracy going on. You would've sworn he'd gone crackers! Talking about people wanting to mine the government, anarchists and stuff, and plainly saying that if you were to carry on spreading that sort of rumours, it would be better for you to clean your desk before they'd go and sack you."

For Remus, the story was not unknown. And yet, hearing her tell it like that, with indignation still boiling, made it all so much real.

"And after that, there I was on the piss," she added in a much calmer tone.

"Why do you think Fudge's wrong, though?" he just had to know.

Tonks shrugged. "I trust Moody. He's a nutter all right, but he knows when things happen. And that same night I heard it all from Dumbledore, and it all makes sense. Even Fudge's attitude does!"

"He's always been weak."

"Yeah, but you know… and I'm not saying he's right, because he's not! But, him, I can understand."

"Can you?" Remus arched an eyebrow and took another sip of his coffee.

"Yeah. He's on top of it all, it must be a heck of a hard work to do. It's the Aurors I'm having trouble with. My superiors. We've been trained for this sort of things, we're supposed to see a little bit further and I'm not talking about Divination here."

"I know you're not," Remus smiled.

"We're supposed to be a step ahead of what might come. And there they are, most of them, sitting on their chairs, their hands comfortably resting on their tummies, waiting for Sirius Black to show up so they can blame it all on him!"

This time, Remus did laugh out loud.

"What?" she almost snapped.

"Nothing. It's just the image of all those Aurors, their hands on their tummies…" he said, still grinning.

"Oh… yeah…" she looked flustered again. "Well that's more or less how my work looks like these days."

Remus finished his coffee and wondered when had it happened that he had stopped wanting for this to be quick.

"So," she spoke again, and her tone was much calmer and serious. "You see why it means a great deal to me having been chosen to be a member of the Order of the Phoenix. It's the only way I can actually do something."

He thought he could anticipate where she was heading and he did not know if he wanted her to broach the subject.

"So there you were," she said, her eyes fixed on his, "and I don't know if you've already realised how wrong this could all end up for me."

"And for me?" he felt he should ask.

"You're an old member, and a valuable one. You were there the first time! I don't think they'll kick you out any time soon."

Remus arched his eyebrows. What exactly did she know about him?

"I've read your file," she explained at the gesture. Remus could not say if he liked that or not. Trust a trainee from Mad-Eye, of course, to want to know all that there was to know from the man she was about to have coffee with. Suddenly, Remus was aware that indeed what had happened that night had been really uncommon for her too.

"And what makes you think they'll kick _you_ out?" he asked. "Only because you and I… met before?"

She just shook her head.

"I don't know," she whispered after a moment. "It's... it's supposed to be wrong, isn't it?"

"Is it?"

She shrugged and Remus sighed. This was it, his opportunity to get them both out of the predicament, if only for the sake of having a normal working relationship.

"They might try to kick me in any given sensible part, for having taken advantage of one of the Order's new members and ruining for us all the opportunity of you collaborating with us," he said, looking at his hands on the table and thinking that what he had just said could be applied to at least two members: Sirius and Moody.

Hearing her chuckle was a relief.

"You don't mean that," she said softly.

"I do," this time he looked at her. "And even without that threat, trust me when I tell you the last thing I want out of all this is for you to have troubles of any sort."

She nodded, slowly, and he could see she was not that convinced.

"Do you realise that I'm going to keep on saying that until you believe me?" he added and was pleased to see her smile again.

For a moment they stood silent and Remus was about to decide it was a comfortable silence when she spoke again.

"D'you want another coffee? Mine's cold."

While he nodded, he realised he was beaming. Not a quick afternoon, then.


	6. Little did we know

The coffees arrived, and Tonks felt suddenly nervous.

Going out for a cup of coffee had been his idea, of course, but it was no excuse. She had done nothing but babbling about herself… and now she was forcing him to stay longer, what on the name of Merlin was she thinking?

He had agreed to that second pot of coffee, of course, and he had even smiled at her suggestion, but maybe he was just being kind. Now, he would not only think she was an easy girl, randomly sleeping with strangers at bars, but also the sort that would not stop talking.

Well, she decided she would just be herself, and it would be his decision to like it or not.

Of course, she had not cared about being liked at the beginning of the afternoon. She had just wanted to accept his offering and get over and done with it, and pretend everything was all right with them, for the sake of future interactions…

No, that was just bollocks, of course she had cared! She had cared the long minutes in which she had been pacing her flat, waiting for him to knock at her door, when she had been almost boiling in anticipation; she had cared during the too many minutes she had spent in front of the mirror, trying to decide which look would suit her better; she had even cared all through her shift at the Ministry, when her mind had treacherously travelled back to that night, back to him. Much more than she wanted to admit, even to herself.

No matter how hard her rational self was trying to force indifference into her demeanour, the truth was she had liked it, maybe too much, when he had suggested for them to go out again. It was a dangerous thought all the way through.

And now, if she would allow herself to be honest about all this, she would admit she was having a good time. Not a very good thing, if, indeed, she had been boring him dry for the past half an hour.

"Now it's your turn," she decided for a new approach.

"Oh, we're playing that again?" His smile was both kind and mischievous, and she liked how it reached his eyes and formed little wrinkles on the corners.

Tonks smiled sheepishly, fighting hard against the blush on her cheeks. Of course, he had remembered to what that phrase had leaded them to the last time she had used it.

"No… I mean… I wanted to say…" she breathed heavily, she was indeed sounding dim. "You said you had a bad day…" she trailed off.

He took a careful sip from his pot.

"It is strange, isn't it? How both of us actually had the same bad day?"

"What were the odds?" she repeated.

He smiled, his eyes fixed on her for a moment and this time she did nothing to fight her blushing. His were really beautiful eyes.

"Well… my bad day had started a little after midnight."

"So, not only bad, but long as well."

His smile grew wider and Tonks had the distinct impression he had wanted to say something else but had decided not to.

"Sirius showed up, out of the blue," he continued in a more sober tone. "I hadn't seen him for almost a year, since the night he had escaped from Hogwarts. We had written to one another, of course, but as far as I knew, he was hiding somewhere. So there he was… have you ever seen his Animagus form?"

Tonks blinked. That was news indeed.

"His what? Is he an… I didn't know he was one! How does he look like?"

Remus stayed silent for a moment, looking down at his hands clasping the pot.

"You were right: it is strange, knowing that you're one of the few people with whom I can really talk about all this."

"It is, isn't it?"

Both gave a small laugh.

"It's a long story but, yes, he is an Animagus… an unregistered Animagus so, I'd very much appreciate if you wouldn't mention it to your mates at the Aurors' Headquarters."

"I won't," she said emphatically.

"Plus, Kingsley already knows."

"Oh…" she said, not sure on how she felt about the fact that nobody had told her something so big.

"Sirius takes the shape of a large black stray dog," Remus continued. "So there he was, outside my door, panting, and I just knew something important must have happened."

He was a good story teller; she had to give him that. With just a few words he had managed to make her imagine not only the situation, but the way he had felt about it.

"He entered and transformed and was talking nonstop about Harry and Voldemort being back and it took me a moment to grasp the full extent of what he was saying. To realise it was starting all over again," he added, "the war."

When he took another sip of his coffee, Tonks had the impression he was trying to control his feelings. She could feel his anguish and suddenly she saw how unlike the situation was for both of them. True, they had had the same bad day, but it had meant something different for each of them. She did not know how to phrase this, so she just remained silent, waiting for him to continue.

"So," his tone was much lighter now, "he crashed on my couch that night. Dumbledore had told him to stay put, but that's asking a lot from Sirius, so at 5 am he was waking me up and saying he was going to find the rat whatever it would cost." She was not sure she had understand the last part and it must have shown in her face, for he added, "he meant Pettigrew. He's an Animagus too."

Tonks knew her expression must be showing the mixed emotions at all this new information. Even though she knew some of the facts, hearing Remus talk about it made them shine with a different light. Suddenly she realised she had been staring at him.

"And you didn't go with him?" There was a desperate attempt to regain control of the situation, only she realised too late it had sounded almost as an accusation but he did not seem to mind.

"We had a task. Dumbledore had ordered us to start reforming the old Order of the Phoenix, calling on the surviving members from last time-"

"The surviving members," she repeated, her voice flat.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I didn't want to put it so brusquely…"

"No, don't be sorry. It's just, hearing you talk about all this is actually giving me the first realistic perspective of what I've just signed up for."

It was a very unsettling feeling, an iron grip of sorts clasping her insides, and yet she was used to life-threatening situations, this was hardly something new.

"Are you considering to resign?" his eyes pierced her and she felt a little self-conscious under the intensity of his gaze.

"Worried about getting that kick in the nuts if I do?" it was a desperate attempt to lighten up the conversation and his laughter told her that she had succeeded. "I won't resign, so you don't need to worry about that… for the time being."

"Fair enough," he said, still smiling.

"You were saying…? About going to find people to join the order?"

"Yes. I started making a list of names and places, and shortly after I was Disapparating to the first one. It was a like hunting for ghosts under bright sunlight. We had lost touch, and most of the members I used to know had moved or had settled into new lives. And of the ones I did found, well, none of them wanted to hear what I had to say about Voldemort being back. Who would blame them?"

"But they knew he would be back, eventually, didn't they? We all sort of did."

"Oh yes, but knowing about the possibility is not the same as being faced with reality."

She looked at Remus thoughtfully. How old was he? His greying hair had deceived her when she had first seeing him in the pub, and she had thought he was just an old tart, but then he had talked and smiled and she had realised he was indeed very young. Talking like this, though, he gave the impression of somebody who had gone through a lot in life.

"A knut for your thoughts," he said, actually producing one small coin out of his pocket.

She laughed nervously, and again felt she was blushing.

"They're not worth it, not even that," she prompted.

"For free then?" he raised his eyebrows and it was so happy a gesture she could not help but give in.

"I was just wondering… about how much you've lived…"

"Sometimes it feels as a little bit too much. Sometimes it's like nothing at all," he shrugged.

She did not know what to say.

"Can I ask you something?" he spoke again.

"Sure."

"I'm afraid I might just ruin this very nice moment with it," Tonks looked at him sharply this time. Was he actually having a nice moment? Wasn't he just trying to be kind? "but I really want to know… why is it that it doesn't bother you the fact that I'm a werewolf?"

That was something unexpected and she was not ready. She had thought about it when he had mentioned his being one the day before, but she had not reached any conclusion and now it was just fair to answer to his question, only she had no idea how.

"I guess… I don't know, I've met many werewolves during training and afterwards."

"You have?"

"I spent a summer working at the registration office."

"Funny we didn't meet there."

She shrugged. "There were many of us. And many of y-… I mean, many people registering. Anyway, the only conclusion I could gather from the experience is that it's just some sort of disease…" she suddenly realised what she was saying. "Sorry, I didn't want to offend you."

"You haven't," he said. "It takes a lot more than that for me to be offended." His eyes were wide open and he seemed to be drinking her every word.

"What I mean is that being a werewolf doesn't change who you are, not really. I've met really nice people and, of course, a great deal of insufferable bastards as well. And you seem to belong to the first group."

"Even though I met you in a pub and got you to sleep with me that very same night without even having the decency of telling you my last name?"

The bluntness of the statement took her by surprise again, and for a moment she was speechless. There it was, the topic they had been carefully avoiding, he had placed it on the table and it was now her turn to make a move.

"Well… what I did, allowing a stranger into my flat and spending the night with him, is questionable as well, and I don't even have the excuse of being a Dark Creature."

There, she had done it. Either she had absolutely ruined it and he was about to get up and run for the door, or he would stay and… and?

He laughed. It was an easy, honest laugh and Tonks joined in, relieved on how comfortable it was to do so with this man.

"That's it!" He announced merrily, "yours is one of the best reactions to my being a werewolf I've ever experienced!"

"Good to know," she said, almost sighing aloud with relief. "What other good ones have you had?"

"My friends at school: Sirius, James Potter and… well… surprisingly enough, Peter Pettigrew."

Well, that was a bit of a shock, in many levels.

"You went to school with them? Even Sirius?"

"Same year, same house."

"But you look so much younger!"

"Aha, when did we start lying, exactly?"

"We're not! At least, I'm not," she said, blushing at the way she had blurted it out. "But it's true, Sirius looks much older. I guess being in prison have something to do with it. Any road, you were telling me about their reaction…"

"It wasn't something that great though, they just… were all right with it. I had tried to hide it from them, but at some point they figured it all and they talked to me about it. Few times in my life have I been that scared-"

"Scared of what exactly?"

"I… don't really know," he said, folding and unfolding his paper napkin, his eyes fixed on it. "I guess I thought they would tell everybody what I was or… or maybe they would just stop being my friends. Nothing of the sort happened."

"I can see that there are people scared with the thought of somebody being a werewolf, but that's just bollocks, isn't it? I mean, here you are, sitting, talking and just being a personable person!"

He chuckled at that and she felt she might have talked too much.

"I think you don't realise how remarkable that attitude is," he spoke slowly, his eyes not leaving hers.

She did not know what to say and looked down at her pot, not sure if that sort of look was making her feel pleased or uncomfortable.

"I have a small confession to make too," she prompted. Until he had talked about his being a werewolf, she had forgotten all about her own very particular condition, and now she had been waiting for a right moment to tell him. She guessed that this would be as good as any other.

His look was a little guarded when he spoke. "You're not a vampire, are you?"

She could not resist the temptation.

"How did you figured that out?" She aimed for the earnest tone in her repertoire.

"Are you…?"

She couldn't though, and a second after she was bursting in laughter.

"It's not fair," he grunted, and she knew he was just pretending; she could see in his eyes he was trying not to laugh. "You can threaten me by sending the entire Auror squad after my limbs if I pull something like that, whereas I… how could I possible defend myself?"

"I guess you're on your own, mate."

He smiled again. "I gather you're not a vampire then. Although I should've seen through it right away: your cheeks are much too rosy to make that story believable."

"Oh well… I'm a Metamorphmagus."

"So the colour on your cheeks is just you morphing them?" he asked and the nonchalance with which he spoke made it look as if he was used to meet Metamorphmagus on a daily basis.

"No…," she hesitated, "as a matter of fact, I'm always trying to hide it when I blush."

He's smile now was mischievous and she wondered what would he say next.

"I'm sorry to crack it up to you like this, but judging from today, you're not particularly successful at it."

"What?" she snapped.

"Don't take me wrong," he showed her his palms in a surrender gesture; "it's a lovely colour."

This time she really felt the heat on her cheeks, but she was too flustered to do something about it.

"See?" he was beaming, "lovely!"

"Oh, bugger off."

He drained his pot. "You seemed to be a little reluctant to tell me, though. Is there a reason?"

Of course there was, only, she wondered if she should share it with him or if that would only give him ideas.

"Well…" at this point, how much harm could it make, really? "It's just, some blokes think it's a wicked skill. You know, I've been asked to morph into somebody's shape, or eye colour, or size… or to adjust my body to make it look… I don't know… better?"

"Really?" His surprise seemed genuine. "Do blokes actually do that?"

She nodded. "Oh, yes."

"Well, as somebody told me, not long ago, you're surrounded by the wrong sort of people, then."

It took her a moment to remember when exactly had that happened.

"I did say that, didn't I?" she chuckled.

"You did."

It had been right after saying she thought he was attractive. It had been true then, it was true now.

"That explains the colours," he said suddenly; she had no idea what he was talking about. "Your hair," he explained, taking in her expression. "It was long and purple when we met, and yesterday it was pink and spiky, today's blue."

An estrange mixture of self-consciousness and pleasure washed over her. She could not remember ever knowing somebody who would actually pay attention to the silly things she did with her hair.

For a moment none of them spoke.

"It's getting late," Remus said suddenly.

"Oh. All right… So…" she trailed off, not sure of what to say.

"So now…," he sighed, smiling, "I am going to ask for your permission to accompany you home, only because I'm old fashion and that's what a decent bloke is supposed to do, isn't it? But…" he added right when she was starting to think about what would his walking her home actually mean, "in order to sustain that image, I'm not going to attempt to cross that threshold of yours."

She just smiled, not knowing if she would have wanted him to or not. Or actually knowing, but not willing to admit, that she indeed wanted him to try and cross that threshold.

"What I _am_ going to do," he went on, his eyes bright, "is ask you if you would like to have dinner with me."

"Yes," she prompted, feeling that this time, it had to be her, the one wanting and hoping… and showing it. "I would love to go out with you some other time."

He beamed at her and for once in her life she was certain she had just done the right thing.

"Tomorrow? Same time?"

"Perfect."

He left a couple of Muggle notes on the table and stood up. Tonks followed his lead.

During the short walk home both of them were silent but she did not felt the tension she had on the way to the coffee shop.

"I really had a good time," she said when they finally reached her door.

"Me too," his eyes were smiling at her and she was not really surprised that she did now want him to go.

It occurred to her then that the best way to actually make him want to stay, to really stay and come back again, and again, would be by letting him go. It was a strange idea, but maybe not very distant to the truth.

"Tomorrow, then?" he asked.

"Yeah, tomorrow."

"All right."

Before she could register it, he was lowering his head. Her lips reacted at once, anticipating the closeness, the texture of his own lips, the warmth of his breathing… Only, he just gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek.

"Be safe," he added, before turning around and starting to walk away.

She could not say a thing.

* * *

**AN: ****Thank you very much SoiSoi, MimbTheHufflepuffGirl, Raywire, tt crews, AJ, loveislouder94, QueenCobraWing, roflshvuakomail and CallMeTony. You people are amazing!**


	7. Love was just a glance away

"So, why is it that you have three wallets?"

"I don't have three wallets." Tonks looked confused over her glass of wine.

"It's just that at the pub, when you opened your purse-", Remus started to explain and suddenly a wide smile spread on her features.

"Right, when it all fell, you saw…," she chuckled a little and put her glass on the wooden table, "No, I don't have three wallets."

Still beaming, she reached for her large purse hanging from the back of her chair, it did not seem to be the same she had had back them, but Remus could not be sure. Looking at him, she opened it, showing its contents.

He could distinguish two or three books, pencil cases, a couple of bags he thought could contain cosmetics, and not three but five wallets.

"It's all transfigured," she whispered even though she had casted another spell to protect them from being overheard at the start of the dinner; still speaking in low tones, she approached him so he could hear her over the noise of the Italian restaurant they were in. "As you might notice, sometimes I have a proclivity of… dropping things around. That's too much of a risk when I'm carrying work stuff."

He raised his eyebrows in admiration.

"So," Tonks continued, pointing at the objects inside, "that blue wallet over there is a file on a suspect I'm currently investigating, the bright pink pencil case hides an assortment of antidotes I was supposed to have left at home, only I forgot, the red one is my badge, and so on and so forth…"

"That's clever."

"It's not," she shrugged, sitting straight again. "It's just if I don't do at least this, Mad-Eye could skin me alive."

_The day had passed too slowly, and he had felt way too excited to stay put. Therefore he had directed his energies on number 12, Grimmauld Place, in their continuous fight against years and years of debris and dark things lurking about and breeding. The only downside about that plan was that he was forced to be with Sirius, who seemed to be only too aware of this restlessness of his._

"_There must be something going on, mate. It's just not normal for you to move so much."_

"_And how would you know?" Remus said, trying to sound nonchalant, while struggling with the drawers of a dresser that aimed to take a bite at his fingers. "Perhaps with the years I've developed a habit of moving a lot. It could also be the fact that the full moon is approaching. Or perhaps you should consider the possibility that there is in fact much to do in here and sitting on that sofa, trying to fish for non-existent gossip as your average Celestina Warbeck fan, is not being helpful at all."_

"_Aren't we jumpy today, too?" Sirius grunting, without any indication of ever wanting to stand up._

"_Most definitely not enough," Remus said, quickly pointing his wand at the sofa and casting a non-verbal spell._

_With a yelp, Sirius jumped onto his feet._

"_Now we are," Remus added with a smirk. "Care to help me with this dresser?"_

_Sirius muttered something under his breath, but Remus could not fail to see he was smirking as well. He would not let it rest, Remus was sure, but at least, for the time being, he had been left only with his own thoughts to deal with. Not that those were easy anyway._

"Moody seems to appreciate you, though," Remus said, remembering the few things the Auror had told him and Sirius about Tonks that very morning, when he had dropped by to check on the new settled protections on Grimmauld place. "I doubt he would skin you alive."

"Good to know," Tonks said nonchalantly. "But I wouldn't be so sure about anything he says or does." She took a large bite of the pizza in front of her and Remus did the same with his. "We're sort of a steady joke for some people at the office," she added after a while.

"You mean…?"

"Aurors, yes," she nodded.

"How come?"

"It is pretty obvious, isn't it?" she said with a small laugh. "Could you possibly imagine two less likely people to team up? The only reason why that happened is that I was the only one in training and it was going to be his last opportunity to train somebody before his retirement, so he did not have much of a choice."

Remus could imagine the scene perfectly. The tough Auror Alastor Moody, refusing as long as possible to retire and planning on making the best out of that last opportunity, only to find….

"He got me," Tonks said, almost matching up with his thoughts, "and he was not particularly thrilled at the beginning."

"But couldn't he get away from it?"

"Oh, he could all right, but that would mean he would not get another chance until the next year, if that! He would have to retire before finishing that training. And you know, the next year and ever since, they haven't found suitable prospects among the candidates, so he would've finished with naught. Come to think of it, he should be more thankful," she added with a loud huff that made her purple fringe quiver.

Even with the nonchalant way in which she had said it, Remus had paid closer attention to what he already knew. Tonks was the last Auror for the time being. In all those years there had not been any other candidate they had considered good enough. She knew it, and she was proud of it, Remus could tell.

"When did he start liking you?" he wanted to know. Why was he so eager to learn all those details about her, he did not know. He was only aware of the wonderful feeling of discovering something precious, every time she came up with a new story.

Tonks beamed at him.

"Sometimes I'm not sure he likes me… but well, the first thing I gained from him was respect."

"How did that happened?"

"Oh," she said, sounding offhand, "there was this time, while I was still on training. I captured two suspects single handed."

Remus whistled softly, wondering if she was trying to show off.

"It was actually an accident," she blurted out, blushing deeply and Remus actually saw the colour vanish a little. Was it her trying to hide her embarrassment just as she had told him she did? "I was running down this alley, following them, and… and I tripped," she said, blushing again, "and my wand just fired something... something slimy. Until now I have no idea what it was! That thing just covered the entire alley and would not stop growing, it cost me ages to think of a counter course. But those two had slipped with it and fallen down, so before getting rid of it I stunned them and tied them up. By the time Mad-Eye arrived, most of the slime was gone and he did not ask any questions, fortunately."

Remus was laughing hard at the image, and at thinking about Tonks, covered in something oily and trying hard to make it vanish while keeping an eye on the men she had just captured. She glared at him at first, but after a moment she chortled as well.

"He doesn't need to know those details, though," she added as an afterthought.

"You mean Mad-Eye doesn't know it was an accident yet?"

"Are you mental? That bit of respect was very hard to gain; I'm not going to lose it!" She said, taking another bite of her pizza.

Remus felt his smile widen.

"Oh really?" It was too good of an opportunity. "So now I have something to threaten you with, in case you try to hex me or any of my limbs."

Tonks let the pizza drop into the plate.

"You wouldn't," she said, glaring at him, but to Remus it seemed as if she was actually playing along, while making efforts not to smile.

"I need something to back me up, don't I?"

She raised her eyebrows.

"Do you, now? Why, what are you planning to do then, that needs some back up?"

He was saved of the trouble of answering that by taking another large bite of pizza, followed by a sip of wine.

_As Sirius' questions did not stop, and Remus grew tired of fighting against cobwebs that seemed determined to strangle him, he had finally decided to go back to his flat and just wait there until it was time to go to pick Tonks up. He was getting even more restless with a question that would not leave him alone and he needed some peace and quiet to come up with a suitable answer._

_What now?_

_They would go out, they would probably have a good time and they would part their separate ways. And he could keep with that for many days or weeks. Only, he was not sure he wanted to. He wanted to get closer to her, so actually be with her, but how and when was he to achieve that without scaring her away by giving the impression he had been after getting into bed with her again all along?_

_The clanging of the new security bolts on the door stopped his train of thought. Was Moody coming back to headquarters? Ready to stun shut the portrait of Sirius' mother if necessary, he exited the parlour right when the door opened._

_How strange it was to feel his insides freeze at the sight of somebody he had had coffee with the day before and would join him to diner in an hour's time._

"_Remus! Wotcher!" Tonks said breathlessly; she seemed to be flustered as well and stood there, the door opened at her back for a moment._

"_Hello," Remus said, his mind suddenly blank._

"_I wasn't expecting…" she muttered, finally closing the door and tapping it with her wand, in order to put the protective spells back into place._

"_I'm staying here for some time," Remus explained, "it's easier for the Order."_

"_Right," she said, facing him again. "I just wanted to leave this…" she produced several rolls of parchment out of her large back, two of them felt on the dusty carpet. Remus bent down to retrieve them. "Hestia needed to review this stuff before going to her next mission," she went on. "I thought I could drop by here on my way home. Before… you know… getting ready."_

_Remus felt it was almost a question and he smiled at her. It was silly, really, he had the impression both of them were acting like very shy children._

"_Actually, I was about to go to my place. To get ready as well."_

_She finally smiled and Remus almost sighed aloud in relief._

"_I'll see you later, then," Tonks said, taking the rolls of parchment from Remus' hand._

"_I'm looking forward to it," Remus said, and before any more awkwardness could grow between them, he undid the protective spells and opened the front door._

"_Bye," Tonks called at his back and he turned around. She was still smiling and another roll of parchment had fallen on the carpet. For a moment, both of them froze, just looking at one another, and there was something warm and pleasant Remus had not felt for a very long time._

"_Later," he finally said, and exited the house, without being able to stop beaming._

The diner was over and they were walking back to Tonks' flat, and Remus still did not have an answer to his question.

They had had a good time together and they were talking about going to this other place later that week where, Tonks assured, serve superb Chinese food. So they would have dinner again, and chat, and exchange glances, perhaps even flirt a little… and then? Then, just like it was going to happen in a moment's time, when they finally reach her door, he would be much too afraid to try and do something that could scare her away.

So, instead, in a moment's time he would just tell her, again, what a lovely time they had had and, if he was lucky, she would agree with him.

Of course she would, he thought with an uncharacteristic feeling of self-confidence. They shared the same wry sense of humour, the same goals, a very akin way to see the world... they just enjoyed the time spent together.

But it did not make it easier to come to an answer. Should he try something else, or should he just wait and enjoy her company just like it was, for the time being? What should he do next? He had no idea, so, he would say his good-byes and, if he did not run out of courage, he would kiss her again, in the cheek of course, and he would agree on going to that Chinese place. It could go on like that forever! And one day he would realise he had become her friend, which was very nice, very good indeed… only absolutely insufficient.

"… we had no idea how had it worked out, when all out attempts had been hopeless," she was telling him about some prank she and a group of friends had done back at school and he felt slightly guilty for not having paid proper attention. "But somehow we had managed to make all horizontal stripes on McGonagall's tartan dress robes disappear!"

Remus laughed, relieved that he had not missed the end of the story, but still worried about his own thoughts. Walking at his side, Tonks was laughing as well, absolutely oblivious to his predicament.

And just as they arrived to the bright red door of the house, he made up her mind.

"I am not sure about how to do this," he started tentatively once her laughter had died away.

"Do this…?" she stared at him blankly.

Remus nodded.

"Because, even though we've talk a little about it, you did asked me to pretend that night, in the pub, did not happen; you asked me to pretend we'd met for the first time during the Order meeting."

"I did…" Tonks replied slowly.

"Now I don't know how am I going to convince you of this."

"Of what?" she asked, and was it Remus' imagination, or her eyes seemed to be brighter?

"If we had indeed only met that night, and not before, and afterwards we'd had seen each other, as we have, yesterday and tonight, I would still try to do what I am about to do."

She was still looking at him and he wished he could know what she was thinking. Hoping against hope that she would not pull away, Remus bent lower, slowly, until finally he kissed her.

Her lips were so soft, and warm, and it felt so much better than his memories; he all but wanted to get lost on that kiss, but he had to be strong and give her all the time and space she might need. He needed to leave.

So with what seemed to be a supreme effort, he drew back.

His eyes widened in surprise and he was sure his knees were about to buckle, when he felt her lips on his again, capturing them, and most definitely telling him he was not going anywhere.


	8. Ever since that night

"I was thinking…" she speaks slowly, shuffling a little to fit into that place on the crook of his arm she is starting to get familiar with.

"You were?" he says, surprise in his voice.

"Oh yeah, I do that sometimes, you know?"

"Really? You should've told me before!"

She stifles a giggle against his chest and smiles, feeling the vibration of his own silent laughter through his skin.

"Prat," she finally mutters, and she knows that her voice gives away the fact that she does not mean it.

For a moment both stay silent.

"You said you were thinking…?" Remus finally asks and she smiles in triumph; she has been sure he would be too curious to just let it go.

"I was thinking," she stretches the last word, "how people on their first date… you know how they sort of pull out an act? I wouldn't call it lying, but there is a lot of bollocks going on, right? You're trying to look your best, to be as attractive as possible, and sometimes that means that you're not telling stuff, or even telling some lies here and there."

"Yes…" he says slowly and, even if she cannot see it, she can almost feel the smile on his lips. "Sometimes it's just that you're trying to be liked, isn't it?"

"It may be," she says, tracing slow patterns on his chest with the tips of her fingers, "but what I wanted to say is, do you realise we didn't?"

"Didn't we?" amusement lingers in his tone, "I didn't even knew you were called Nymphad-"

"Watch it!" she snaps, fighting hard to control a new wave of laughter. "You're not allowed to say it!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot," he says with way too obvious mocking contrition.

"Try not to," she says in what is probably a very unconvincing tone of seriousness.

"All right, I'll try," he strokes her arm and she pauses her train of thought for a moment to just close her eyes and enjoy the caress.

"I know we didn't even know what we were," she continues lazily, "or who we were… but we were honest, weren't we? About what we thought and how we felt…"

"That we were," he nods, rolling into his side; he starts nuzzling her neck and placing kisses where it met her shoulder.

A sigh escapes her lips and she closes her eyes again, oblivious, for a moment to everything but the feeling of his lips on her skin. The idea is there though, and she really wants to know what he thought.

"What I'm trying to say here, if you would stop distracting me," she mutters.

"You want me to stop now, do you?" he says, laughter lingering in his voice.

She just buffs and, after giving her an extra long kiss on the side of her neck that made her immediately long for more, he looks at her, his weight supported on his elbow.

"What I am trying to say here," she repeated, "is that we were not aiming to be liked. So we showed us exactly how we are. More or less…"

"No rubbish…"

"Exactly, just… us."

He looks at her thoughtfully and, with a small movement, almost as if he is asking for her permission to do it, he places one of her pink locks behind her ear.

"Half pissed and depressed," he offers, his eyes fixed on hers.

"Almost hysterical and in a bad temper."

"A very bad temper."

"Yeah…"

She trails off, trying to fix in her mind the details of that strange and yet so wonderful night. For a moment she is perfectly happy with just looking at him.

"I happen to like us very much," he finally mutters.

She smiles.

* * *

**AN: ****Thank you very much to all of you for reading, reviewing and being just wonderful! **


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